Parvati's Song
by Ami the QEFM
Summary: This is a serious filk... *snort* yeah right, me, serious? Anyway, this is my filk (filk? flik? Anyway, it's based on a song, whatever it's called), based on "Adam's Song" by Blink 182. Do NOT read this if you actually like Parvati Patil (are there any pe


Parvati's Song  
by Ami the Queen of the Evil Flying Monkeys  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Blink 182 (though I wish I did..) or any of the characters mentioned here. Oh and if you don't know, this is based on "Adam's Song" by Blink 182.  
Do not read this if you like Parvati Patil (if there are any people out there that actually like the ditz...)  
  
I never thought I'd die alone  
I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?  
  
Parvati Patil sat alone in her room, pondering her existence.   
  
"Should I get a new pink lipstick, or red? Hmmm.." she said to herself, thinking very hard, "Oww, I have to stop this, it hurts my poor brain. Ooh, Cosmo!" Parvati noticed the latest issue of Cosmo sitting on Lavendar's bed, picked it up, and began to look at the pictures. (the small print gave her a headache, as did reading in general)  
  
I traced the cord back to the wall  
No wonder it was never plugged in at all.  
  
"Oh, I like that, and that." Parvati said, still talking to herself, not even noticing her roommate standing at the door, staring.  
  
"Parvati, what are you doing?" a familiar female voice asked.  
  
"Looking at a madazi.. maga.. oh whatever you call it." Parvati replied, stumbling over a word and picking up the magazine to show Hermione. Hermione was practically trembling with laughter by this point, but Parvati was too interested in a leopard-print purse to notice.  
  
I took my time, I hurried up  
The choice was mine I didn't think enough  
  
"Choices, choices. Which one would you get, Hermione?" Parvati asked, pointing out two purses in the magazine, for the first time in five years actually interested in Hermione's opinion of something.  
  
"Neither. I'd rather buy a book or something useful than a stupid handbag." Hermione said, looking over the pictures skeptically. Parvati took one look at her and started bawling.   
  
I'm too depressed to go on,  
You'll be sorry when I'm gone.  
  
"You're so mean! Everyone is mean, everyone hates me!" Parvati wailed, throwing herself against her bedspread.  
  
"How do you figure that, Sherlock?" Hermione said, not taking Parvati seriously. She never had reason to, so why should she actually believe her now?  
  
I never conquered, rarely came  
16 just held such better days  
  
"I hate it here, I want to go home. All my friends are at home, witches are so cruel!" Parvati continued, kicking and screaming and throwing a particularly loud tantrum. Hermione took the opportunity to lay down on her bed, pull out a novel she had just started, and read another chapter.  
  
Days when I could still feel alive  
We couldn't wait to get outside  
  
"I'm leaving!" Parvati said, frowning and pulling out her large pink trunk.  
  
"Good for you." Hermione said, not even looking up from her book.  
  
"Goodbye!" Parvati said, stomping out dragging her trunk behind her.  
  
"Good riddance. See you at dinner." Hermione mumbled, and kept on reading as Parvati proceeded to slam the door and stomp down the stairs.  
  
The world was wide, too late to try  
The tour was over, I'd survived  
  
"Par, where are you going?" Lavendar Brown asked, traipsing along behind Parvati, not even noticing the large pink trunk Parvati was lugging around.  
  
"I'm going home, and you can't come with me." Parvati said, spitting out the last few words.  
  
"Cool, can I come?" Lavendar asked perkily.  
  
"No, you idiot, can't you see? I'm running away! Becoming a muggle again!" Parvati exclaimed, turning to face her best friend, who still wore a look of puzzlement.  
  
"So I can't come?" Lavendar said, sounding hurt.  
  
"NO!" Parvati nearly screamed, and stomped out the portrait-hole, completely forgetting about her trunk.  
  
I couldn't wait till I got home  
to pass the time in my room alone  
"PADMA! PADMA LET ME IN!" Parvati yelled through the statue of armor which served as an entrance to the Ravenclaw common room.  
  
"Parvati? What are you doing here? Of course I can't let you into my common room, wait, I'll come out there." Padma responded, sounding slightly irritated.  
  
Padma appeared a moment later from nowhere.   
  
"Wow, how'd you do that?" Parvati asked, amazed.  
  
"I'm a witch, remember?" Padma said, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Oh yeah..I forgot. Anyway, I'm running away, which way is home?" Parvati asked, still dazed slightly from Parvati's appearance.  
  
"Parvati, this is school. You can't run away from SCHOOL, dingbat! Now get back to your common room RIGHT NOW." Padma said, sounding irritated at her twin's stupidity. (A/N-I can't blame her, if I was Parvati's sister I'd be irritated too.) Padma steered her sister to the Gryffindor common room and left her there.  
  
"Uh oh, Hey Padma, what's my password?"  
  
I never thought I'd die alone  
Another six months I'll be unknown  
  
"How am I supposed to know that?!" Padma growled, continuing down the hall.  
  
"Well you're a, no you're a Ravenclaw, aren't you?" Parvati asked, this turn of events suddenly plunging her into a new stupor.  
  
"Yes, just go to the Great Hall and find another Gryffindor and ask her." Padma instructed, not even turning around. Parvati watched her sister disappear up the stairs.  
  
"Where's the Great Hall?" Parvati thought silently, and began to wonder around the halls aimlessly.  
  
Give all my things to all my friends  
You'll never set foot in my room again  
  
"Miss Patil, what are you doing?" a familiar, misty voice called from behind Parvati, who was still trying to find the Great Hall.  
  
"Hi Professor Trelawney, I was looking for the Great Hall." Parvati said, sounding very confused.  
  
"You know, I was just doing the same thing. Do you know where it is?" Trelawney asked, looking as stupefied as Parvati.   
  
"I see.." Parvati said, rubbing her temples and making a face like those cheesy "psychics" on infomercials. "That way!"  
  
"Parvati dear, if your aura was supposed to lead us to the Great Hall, why are we in the bathroom?"  
  
You'll close it off, board it up  
Remember the time that I spilled the cup  
of apple juice in the hall?   
Please tell mom this is not her fault.  
  
"I don't know, maybe it has a sense of humor." Parvati said, actually sounding like she had a brain for the first time in years.  
  
"Hmmm... my aura tells me we must go that way." Professor Trelawney said, heading off to the right, promptly running directly into a suit of armor and knocking it over with a loud clatter.  
  
  
I never conquered, rarely came  
But tomorrow holds such better days  
  
~*~four hours later~*~  
  
"I don't think this is the Great Hall." Parvati said, inspecting a beautifully decorated chamber pot. The room they stood in was full of chamber pots, from small to large.   
  
"My aura tells me we must go back to our rooms immediately." Trelawney said, sounding thoughtful, even though she wasn't.   
  
Days when I can still feel alive  
The world is wide, the time goes by  
  
Amazingly, Parvati found her way back to her common room, but still could not remember her password.  
  
"Hey Neville, what's the password?" Parvati asked, watching Neville approach the portrait-hole from her sitting position on the cold stone floor.  
  
"Ladybug legs." Neville said to the fat lady, and the portrait-hole swung open.  
  
Parvati slipped in behind Neville, just managing to prevent the portrait from shutting on her robes.  
  
The tour is over, I've survived  
I can't wait till I get home  
to pass the time in my room alone.  
  
"Oh well, I'll run away tomorrow. Now, back to the problem at hand, what color lipstick should I get?" Parvati said, shrugging and laying back on her bed.   
  



End file.
